What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

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What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

Post by J1NX on Wed 19 Mar 2008, 10:05 am

What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to
drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers. Imagine if
they did ...

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
Help Line: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
Help Line: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery
and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all
these technical terms just to use my car?"

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how may I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere."
Help Line: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
Help Line: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and
markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
Help Line: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor
to install it for you."
Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I
have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with
everything built in!"

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: Your cars suck!"
Help Line: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what's wrong!"
Help Line: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster so I pushed the accelerator pedal all
the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed
and it won't start now."
Help Line: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do
you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't
crash any more."

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because
it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering,
power brakes and power door locks."
Help Line: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
ustomer: "Do I know how to what?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my
car!"

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Re: What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

Post by Alcatraz on Thu 31 Jul 2008, 5:19 pm

J1NX wrote:What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?


Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my
car!"

Yes indeed, Since we left, I have had to tech it up for them, wtf, im not you!


Well at least I dont pretend to be =P
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Re: What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

Post by J1NX on Tue 02 Dec 2008, 12:27 pm

Alcatraz wrote:
J1NX wrote:What if People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?


Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my
car!"

Yes indeed, Since we left, I have had to tech it up for them, wtf, im not you!


Well at least I dont pretend to be =P

Just tell them to google everything.

It will make them think you are either a genius or completely worthless.

Either way you win.

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