Hey Twilight fans....GO fawk YOURSELF!

http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-latest-ridiculous-twilight-product-a-sparkly-d,31972/

I swear to fucking god... was there really a reason?


Alright, I'm going to put it this way... I am going to see the third movie.

Why? Because a friend at work told me that in it, the chick gives birth to an abomination (whitewolf: Halfbreed of Vampire and Werewolf). The abomination then decides to eat her, and kill the main vampire dude, whatever his ugly ass name is.

I will see this movie simply so that when all the little tween girls are crying, I can be the one psycho in the audience laughing my ass off in the front row.

"For people who want to fawk teenagers with frozen dicks who can fly."

LMAO!

The other day, I stepped into Hot Topic momentarily while trying to waste some time at the mall,which is not a hard thing to accomplish, and they're selling 'Edward Body Glitter'
And all I could think was...really?

Shellshot wrote:...'Edward Body Glitter'...

That's it. Emo kids have gone too far.

J1NX wrote:

Shellshot wrote:...'Edward Body Glitter'...

That's it. Emo kids have gone too far.

Not to mention the mainstream media and Hollywood. It seems now that every network and production company has some show and or movie that has the word "Vampire" in it's title and or content of the show. Thanks Stephenie Meyer for taking an almost dead horse and resurrecting it for us all to keep beating on... And of course you know this is like the Emo kid's new meth. They can't live another heartbreaking day unless they sport their "I love Edward" T-shirts.
And let's not forget those chains hooked onto their pants. Only now those chains are connected not to the old 'Nightmare Before Christmas' wallets, but to the new Edward and Bella wallets.
There is now not a single facet of life for fans of vampires that has not been inundated with the infectious 'Twilight' syndrome.
And what's worse, is that there seems not to be an antidote; No vaccine to ward off this infiltrating vermin.
If I have to hear any more about 'How wonderful and totally sexy it would be to be a vampire and live forever', I swear I'm going to have to put all the zombie killing gear in storage and start stockpiling wooden stakes.
Long live the fawkin' Werewolves, BITCHES! lol

Shellshot wrote:

J1NX wrote:

Shellshot wrote:...'Edward Body Glitter'...

That's it. Emo kids have gone too far.

Not to mention the mainstream media and Hollywood. It seems now that every network and production company has some show and or movie that has the word "Vampire" in it's title and or content of the show. Thanks Stephenie Meyer for taking an almost dead horse and resurrecting it for us all to keep beating on... And of course you know this is like the Emo kid's new meth. They can't live another heartbreaking day unless they sport their "I love Edward" T-shirts.
And let's not forget those chains hooked onto their pants. Only now those chains are connected not to the old 'Nightmare Before Christmas' wallets, but to the new Edward and Bella wallets.
There is now not a single facet of life for fans of vampires that has not been inundated with the infectious 'Twilight' syndrome.
And what's worse, is that there seems not to be an antidote; No vaccine to ward off this infiltrating vermin.
If I have to hear any more about 'How wonderful and totally sexy it would be to be a vampire and live forever', I swear I'm going to have to put all the zombie killing gear in storage and start stockpiling wooden stakes.
Long live the fawkin' Werewolves, BITCHES! lol

Well put sir. I do see light at the end of the tunnel though, so to speak. There is a thin line between emo and suicide victim as it is. All that the genre needs to nail the coffin shut (HA!) is for a pair of "star crossed" lovers to kill themselves wearing their twilight gear watching the movie or some such shit and BAM!! Instant vampire ban. I would much rather live in a world without vampires than one where I have to put up with whiny vampires that are lonely....and as far as teh abstinance thing goes IN BRAM STOKERS DRACULA DRACULA WANTED TO TURN GIRLS SO THAT AFTERWARDS HE COULD fawk THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!!!!!

I hope I got my point across.

J1NX wrote:

Shellshot wrote:

J1NX wrote:

Shellshot wrote:...'Edward Body Glitter'...

That's it. Emo kids have gone too far.

Not to mention the mainstream media and Hollywood. It seems now that every network and production company has some show and or movie that has the word "Vampire" in it's title and or content of the show. Thanks Stephenie Meyer for taking an almost dead horse and resurrecting it for us all to keep beating on... And of course you know this is like the Emo kid's new meth. They can't live another heartbreaking day unless they sport their "I love Edward" T-shirts.
And let's not forget those chains hooked onto their pants. Only now those chains are connected not to the old 'Nightmare Before Christmas' wallets, but to the new Edward and Bella wallets.
There is now not a single facet of life for fans of vampires that has not been inundated with the infectious 'Twilight' syndrome.
And what's worse, is that there seems not to be an antidote; No vaccine to ward off this infiltrating vermin.
If I have to hear any more about 'How wonderful and totally sexy it would be to be a vampire and live forever', I swear I'm going to have to put all the zombie killing gear in storage and start stockpiling wooden stakes.
Long live the fawkin' Werewolves, BITCHES! lol

Well put sir. I do see light at the end of the tunnel though, so to speak. There is a thin line between emo and suicide victim as it is. All that the genre needs to nail the coffin shut (HA!) is for a pair of "star crossed" lovers to kill themselves wearing their twilight gear watching the movie or some such shit and BAM!! Instant vampire ban. I would much rather live in a world without vampires than one where I have to put up with whiny vampires that are lonely....and as far as teh abstinance thing goes IN BRAM STOKERS DRACULA DRACULA WANTED TO TURN GIRLS SO THAT AFTERWARDS HE COULD fawk THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!!!!!

I hope I got my point across.

OMG Travis, thank you for putting it in words, because that is exactly how I feel.

And honestly J1NX... the abstinence vampire shit is what used to make me laugh more than fucking ANYTHING else in the world.

Alcatraz wrote:

J1NX wrote:

Shellshot wrote:

J1NX wrote:

Shellshot wrote:...'Edward Body Glitter'...

That's it. Emo kids have gone too far.

Not to mention the mainstream media and Hollywood. It seems now that every network and production company has some show and or movie that has the word "Vampire" in it's title and or content of the show. Thanks Stephenie Meyer for taking an almost dead horse and resurrecting it for us all to keep beating on... And of course you know this is like the Emo kid's new meth. They can't live another heartbreaking day unless they sport their "I love Edward" T-shirts.
And let's not forget those chains hooked onto their pants. Only now those chains are connected not to the old 'Nightmare Before Christmas' wallets, but to the new Edward and Bella wallets.
There is now not a single facet of life for fans of vampires that has not been inundated with the infectious 'Twilight' syndrome.
And what's worse, is that there seems not to be an antidote; No vaccine to ward off this infiltrating vermin.
If I have to hear any more about 'How wonderful and totally sexy it would be to be a vampire and live forever', I swear I'm going to have to put all the zombie killing gear in storage and start stockpiling wooden stakes.
Long live the fawkin' Werewolves, BITCHES! lol

Well put sir. I do see light at the end of the tunnel though, so to speak. There is a thin line between emo and suicide victim as it is. All that the genre needs to nail the coffin shut (HA!) is for a pair of "star crossed" lovers to kill themselves wearing their twilight gear watching the movie or some such shit and BAM!! Instant vampire ban. I would much rather live in a world without vampires than one where I have to put up with whiny vampires that are lonely....and as far as teh abstinance thing goes IN BRAM STOKERS DRACULA DRACULA WANTED TO TURN GIRLS SO THAT AFTERWARDS HE COULD fawk THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!!!!!

I hope I got my point across.

OMG Travis, thank you for putting it in words, because that is exactly how I feel.

And honestly J1NX... the abstinence vampire shit is what used to make me laugh more than fucking ANYTHING else in the world.

Oh brother, I could go on and on and on about the Twilight "Saga" and all it's little crumb snatching cronies who follow it around waiting for any drop of blood to fall from it's glitter coated ass.

I have to admit though, I have suffered through the first two books. The first one was ok. The second one however, had more wining and bitching and just copious amounts of bull shit than the current White House regime. At so many points during that damn book i just wanted to reach into the page and pull Bella out by her pretty little throat and strangle her to death, and then tell Edward and Jacob, "What now, BITCHES!". Personally I think that she should have just died at the end of the first movie, and then Edward should have somehow committed suicide, which he does try in the second book, and we could have turned this all into a very nice Romeo and Julliet story. We would still have of course, the normal emo kid reaction to it, but it would eventually just go away with the lack of a sequal.

And BTW, I'm sure you'll want to know why I even bothered to read the first two books. Well, why do some christians bother to read the Coran? Well, it's so that they actually know WTF they're talking about when they bash that shit. Savy?

Oh yeah, and one more thing... If we ever get together and play Whitewolf again, I am so creating a character named 'Edward', just so we can kill him in some unimaginably horrific way...
Or better yet, we'll set up character sheets for each vampire in the movies, and then wage war on them all until we have beheaded and burned them all, with the exception of Edward of course, whom we will save for the last in order to preform on him the aforementioned 'unimaginably horrific' death. Who's with me?

Shellshot wrote:...'unimaginably horrific' death...

My thoughts: Anal rape from a werewolf that then shifts crinos splitting his back in half like a busted pinata.

J1NX wrote:

Shellshot wrote:...'unimaginably horrific' death...

My thoughts: Anal rape from a werewolf that then shifts crinos splitting his back in half like a busted pinata.

See, I knew one of you would come up with the perfect thing. lol